FreelanceCoach Blog

Stress is an everyday reality for us in the present times and life coaching can deliver a lot in helping us deal with stress. Today’s life is extremely demanding. What with workplace pressure, parenthood, commuting hassles, etc. our lives are constantly under stress from different quarters. It is therefore not unusual for us to feel pent up at times. However, stress is rather harmful when it becomes a continuous affair. A lot of the present day lifestyle diseases are directly a result of excess stress in our lives. Hence it is important to look at stress management seriously. In certain circumstances the amount of stress in our lives become too much to handle and we end up feeling lost. It is best to seek professional life coaching in such cases to help deal with the situation quickly and effectively.

Why do you Need Professional Life Coaching to Manage Stress

In everyday situations, it may not be so unusual for you to deal with stress and still keep going strong. We all deal with our stress at some level or the other. However when it becomes an integral part of your everyday existence, when it starts to badly affect your work and personal life, it becomes important that you let a professional handle the situation. In such cases if you continue to evade seeking professional help, the problem has every chance of getting aggravated and causing mental trauma or depression from inability to deal with it. International studies have shown that life coaching helps reduce stress levels (57.1%) and leads to a more balanced life (60.5%).

Essentials About Dealing With Stress

The basic premise of stress is anxiety and pondering over the past or future. It is very common to develop stress through pondering too much about what went wrong and how you could have probably stopped it from happening. This could be about discontinuing your diet, your exercise program, not being able to give time to your kid and so on.The continuous self reproach gradually weakens you and makes you feel bad about yourself for not having handled a situation better and also instills fear in you of your inability to deal with similar situations in future. Thereafter you start being anxious with how things might turn out in future and with passing time, the anxiety and fear might get a grip on you unless conscious efforts are made to shake them off. The easiest way to deal with stress is probably to dwell in the present and taking one thing at a time without getting too anxious about the “what if”s. However it is easier said than done when it concerns your own life, its problems and fears.

Life coaching sessions help you get past your regrets from the past, the anxiety for future and help you to focus on the present, thereby relieving stress. Hence seeking professional help is advisable when you feel that stress is becoming an everyday issue that you are finding difficult to deal with. Once you have realized and taken action by seeking expert help, the chances are very high that you will be able to get past stress issues pretty soon.

To Your Success and Happiness!

Anda Tudor, Life and Career Coach

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Thoughts are very powerful towards channelizing personal growth in our lives. Our thoughts are what makes us what we are, how we are and how our life is. They guide and shape our beliefs and convictions. If you wish to achieve something in your life, the first important thing to do is to believe in it and your thoughts are the most important tools that could help you do that. Each of your individual beliefs and thought processes together form the essence of your belief system and ultimately conjure up the story of your life. This is the reason that life coaching experts, who deal with life beliefs, dreams, failures and achievements issues of numerous individuals day in and day out, lay utmost importance on shaping of thoughts.

Channelize Your Thoughts to Fuel Your Personal Growth

You perform your life duties and responsibilities according to certain beliefs and perceptions that you have. You try to deliver them to the best of your ability and the way your thoughts tell you to deliver them. Whether it is your work, your relationship, your family or your passion, you are driven by your thoughts and perceptions. To make sure that your actions are fruitful and results in your personal growth you need your thoughts to be positive and also have strong faith on your belief system. The outside world might offer other or negative takes of what you believe in, but if your belief system is strong enough they will not be able to sway you from your path. You will keep on repeating to yourself about the positives of your thought process and belief system and the story that you wish to make out of it. The more you reiterate your beliefs to yourself, the stronger it becomes. Once you have a strong belief system it steels your mindset and helps you put in the action that you require for your desired personal growth.  It may so happen that you get influenced by external thought processes and suddenly start doubting your goals, your conviction, etc. It is vital to not be swayed by negative thoughts or opinions that weigh you down. If you find it difficult to get past the impasse for too long take expert advice of life coaching guides, they will help you find back the faith in your beliefs, fight the fear or apprehension of being yourself and following your passion and reinstall the confidence in yourself to pursue and achieve the personal growth goals you set for yourself.

Once you are strong with your thoughts, life beliefs and your passion to achieve what you want, there is no stopping you from reaching the level of personal growth you wish to reach. You just need to focus on positive thoughts, egg yourself on and keep believing in yourself.  It starts with you and your thoughts and if you manage to keep your thoughts focused, you will reach the zenith in no time.

To Your Success and Happiness!

Anda Tudor, Life and Career Coach

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At times we start accepting that we can do nothing much about our lifetime regrets and that is when life coaching helps us get past this phase of inaction and despair. We all have regrets in our lives and at times such regrets start overshadowing important aspects of our beings and lives. There are instances when we get stuck with ruing over something that we could not or did not do and the consequences that followed. These regrets start affecting our performance at job, our family and social life, our happiness and well being. It is useful to seek professional life coaching services in such circumstances to help us come out of the impasse.

Does Life Coaching Really Help?

International studies have shown that life coaching leads to more self confidence (52.4%) and a more balanced life (60.5%). Numerous people have benefited by seeking professional guidance at critical junctures in their lives when they felt bogged down with worries and regrets. It is not for nothing that coaching is one of the fastest growing professions the world over. Professional Life Coaching experts help you find the positives in your life and deal with your failures and regrets. Unless you are able to get past lifetime regrets, it becomes difficult to move ahead in life and take new chances for a better life. It is important that you see what you have and how you can make your life better under the given circumstances rather than constantly running after illusions and ending up with more regrets.

Few Things Which Help in Getting Past Regrets

Some of the most common kinds of regrets mostly have to do with “What if I did what I wanted to” or “I wish I had spent more time with my parents/children/family”. At times we run after material possessions too much and in the process end up giving up on our passion, our time with family and friends and in the process develop regrets that is difficult to get past. One of the principal theories of life coaching is to help you identify and do what matters to you, be it pursuing your hobby, spending quality time with your family or traveling. When you do what matters to you most, it makes you happy and minimizes the chances of developing regrets. Even when you already have regrets, coaching helps you see that you can still start to change things from the present. It helps you being more content with what you have, lets you follow your passions, enjoying your relationships and indulge your mind and soul to help you become a happier person from inside out.

It is only when you let yourself be happy without blaming yourself too much for the past mistakes that you start your journey away from your lifetime regrets. Life coaching helps you see the positives, accept your mistakes and prioritize your happiness, ultimately helping you to lead much more contented and blissful lie.

To your Success and Happiness!

Anda Tudor, Life and Career Coach

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Empowering yourself is probably an all important part of your personal development. The word empowerment is quite board in its implications, but what we are dealing with here is mostly personal empowerment, which, simply put, is the state of mind that helps you realize your own potential, gain control over your life, actions and destiny.

Key Factors Influencing Personal Development via the Empowerment Route

The first and foremost step is probably gaining conscious grasp on your own thoughts and emotions. Your thoughts and feelings basically shape what and how you are. They decide whether you are positive in your lookout or suffer from self esteem issues. Empowerment helps you analyse, understand and accept your own self and self image, thereby boosting your understanding of the self and consequently higher confidence and self esteem. The path to empowerment however is not easy or convenient always. It entails you to take responsibility of your own actions, decisions and their consequences. As an empowered individual you are no longer a passive player who only accepts what is available to him or her, but one who takes well informed and thought out decisions with the available mental faculties and resources.

For you to climb up the spiral of empowerment it is crucial that you are a motivated individual. Motivation again, has to come from what your inner self desires or wants to achieve. It is only through an organic motivational process that your inner desires and dreams drive, that you can start on a path of empowerment. Without the support or nod of the inner being in you, you will most certainly lose the motivation to go on. At times you might find the complex mix of inner voice, self consciousness, et al rather confusing and need direction. You can do well by consulting experts of life coaching under such circumstances to help you find the true you and put you on a path to empowerment. This will help you gain access to your own inner self, which is important because it has to be you who decides how and why you want to empower yourself and how that will help you achieve your personal development goals. Which brings us to the important influencing factor termed self-awareness.

To be driven enough toward empowerment, you need motivation that springs from your consciousness of your own self. Unless you follow the voice of your inner self and decipher the untold dreams that it conceals, it will be futile for you to pursue empowerment. Another important factor is perhaps your behaviour and habits. You need to be sure that your behaviour promotes empowerment rather than harming the process. At times behaviourial inhibitions dictate our behaviours and that affects our pursuit of empowerment. Lastly you need to devise strategies to counter the barriers, be it behaviour, hurdles to self awareness or lack of internalisation of your own thought process. While designing your strategies you also need to consider the resources that are available to you and how you can optimise them to capitalise on the opportunities towards empowerment and personal development.

The process of personal development through empowerment of self is a long drawn and complex process requiring you to constantly look inwards and find answers and solutions. But don’t be deterred buy the hurdles, seek support of expert life coaches if required and find the path to the true you and ultimately the road to empowerment.

To Your Success!

FreelanceCoach Team

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At times we are struggle to decipher why the world outside perceives our worth as much less than what we know it is. You might have wondered at times why people fail to see the positives or good in you that you feel is very much there. This ultimately leads to declining self esteem and confidence, which, to say the least, is a very undesirable state of mind. But take heart there are ways that you could address this.

What Factors to Look Out for To Project the Best in You

The key is to pay close attention to the factors and parameters that the world uses to gauge you.

1. Look. One of the very first things to start with is the way you look. By looks we don’t really mean your physical features per se, but more the way you present and conduct yourself. Choose your clothes carefully. While it is not advisable to be fastidious about your dress, but the way you dress does carry a message to the outside world and to everyone you interact with. Let’s face it, most of us feel good talking, interacting and being with someone who is well dressed and is presentable. So the first step that you can take is to dress appropriately and be presentable.
2. Behavior. The next important thing is to watch out how you interact and talk. Words have power and so does how they are spoken. Be clear, precise and interesting. It is important that people don’t have to try too hard to hear you or understand you. It will help if you speak slow enough to be followed and use intonations that make your words sound audible as well as interesting. One of the most important key to being attractive is to be a good conversationalist.
3. Listen. Do remember that listening is an equally essential part of a conversation. If you continue to manipulate and dominate entire conversations, people will lose interest and feel less inclined or obliged to interact with you.
4. Body Language. Also while you engage in a conversation, be aware of your body language. The way you move your head, hands or place your feet also reflects your state of mind. At times fidgeting or gesticulating too much with your hands may give out the wrong signals. Your body language talks a lot about how confident you are with your words, subject matter and the environment, which has direct effect on how your persona is perceived by people around you. Confidence is one quality that seldom fails to impress. A firm handshake, a steady eye-to-eye contact and avoiding unnecessary hurry in a conversation will help you establish that you are well at ease and confident. So be careful about what indications you give to your audience or conversation partner with your gestures and body language.

If you find all this too complex to keep track of, it is advisable that you consult a life coaching expert to help you understand the gaps and pitfalls in your social skills. They will be able to identify the areas where you need improvement.

Improving your image to gain better recognition from the world outside is not necessarily a difficult task; given you have the required grooming, patience and observation. If you feel you are lagging behind in some of these factors, start now, take inputs from professional life coaching guides and chisel out your social skills. Soon you will find your social image going all the right places.

 Wishing you all the best,

Anda Tudor

PR Manager, FreelanceCoach

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Who are you?  No really, WHO ARE YOU?  If you really know who you are then you would probably know how to respond to difficult or conflict situations.  But most of us don’t know who we really are inside, and so we avoid or just jump in blindly when it comes to handling difficult situations.

For example, perhaps the person that you see in the mirror you believe to be stable and creative with a healthy emotional expression.  That person has a blend of strength, sensitivity and creativity that you really admire – and others do too because they’ve told you as much.  But what you don’t see or chose not to acknowledge is the insecurity and self-doubt that lies just beneath the surface.  Yes, that is you, the real you.  That air of confidence that everyone admires is also hiding your insecurity and self-doubt.

Now that you know you have these underlying issues, isn’t it safe to say that perhaps the way you handled past conflicts was based solely on these traits and not the air of confidence that you put out there for everyone to see.  It’s the insecurity and self-doubt that drives your need to express your anger or resentment every single time, no matter what.  And you analyze everything to death which only puts you into deeper hot waters.

Start today and get to know the real you – not just your strengths, but also your weaknesses.  Don’t hide your weaknesses, bring them out and confront them.  When you acknowledge what they are, you can better understand why you re-act to certain situations the way that you do.  You will know the next step to take, how and when to take that step each and every time you are faced with a difficult or conflict situation.

Perhaps you’ve been thinking about getting a coach, but weren’t sure why you might need one.  As your conflict resolution coach, I can help you learn more about your communication and conflict management styles; develop new options and strategies for managing any existing conflicts; gain confidence in your own abilities to manage and resolve those conflicts knowing that you have someone to support you.

Take the next step to get coaching and schedule a FREE Discovery Session with me!

Until next time…

Resolve It Now!

Eudine Herbert, the Conflict Mediator

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“It’s beneath me to cheat” and that’s what self worth is all about. Self worth is an amalgamation of strength of character, self esteem, and righteousness. A high and positive sense of self value can transform into self esteem, which helps in imparting success, happiness, health and prosperity, stronger personal bonds, higher employment, and greater learning.

Interesting Stats About Self Worth

According to a research conducted by Hansford and Hattie (1982), it has been revealed that self worth plays an important role in performance in academics. Self worth increases academic brilliance by 4-7 percent.

• According to a study by (Hahn & Danzberger, 1987) and (Plotnik, 1992), high rate of teen pregnancy in the USA can be attributed to low self worth and self esteem caused by low parental socio-economic status, low aspirations, low educational ability, and high socio-emotional difficulty.
• According to a report by The National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy from Washington D.C., 40% of girls in the USA become pregnant before the age of 20 and equals to approximately 1 million teenagers.
• According to a research conducted by University of Bacău, there is a correlation between interpersonal relations and self worth. In 95% of the cases, self worth influenced relationships in a positive way.

Do’s and Don’ts of Self Worth

Many experts feel that self worth and self esteem act as a huge stress reliever. When negative things happen in our life and in the lives of people we love, only positive attitude and a high degree of self worth can protect us. Negativity breeds stress and positivity takes away stress. If you have high sense of self-worth then it will be easy for you to draw upon your inner sense of capability, self value, and power. Without self worth, your life will fall apart in challenging situations and when negativity surrounds you.

Here is a list of Do’s and Don’ts of self worth, which will help you to identify how it works in your life.

1)      When there is a healthy sense of self worth, there cannot be any EGO. Having an inflated ego and having confidence is NOT the same.

2)      Just because you are good at something doesn’t mean you are great and have a high sense of self worth. You can have a healthy sense of self-worth or self-esteem without any stand-out skills

3)      You need to identify the things that other people would value in you like:

• Taking responsibility for your actions
• Being polite to strangers
• However tough the circumstances are, always try your best
• Your ability to go for a meeting even when you are ill
• Accepting the fact that you are unique without any ego
• Ability to encourage yourself to create, innovate, or ideate

Warm regards,

FreelanceCoach Team

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Self efficacy can be described in the words of Albert Bandura, "The belief in one’s capabilities to organize and execute the courses of action required managing prospective situations." Basically, this means that self-efficacy is your belief in your ability to achieve success in a specific situation. These beliefs according to Bandura are determinants of how you think, feel, and behave. According to a research conducted by Bandura (1995, 1997), efficacy beliefs can influence people to think strategically or erratically, pessimistically or optimistically.

Every human being should possess a strong sense of self efficacy as it is conducive to attainment of personal goal and well being. It is also known to be a strong predictor of health and behavioral change. One of the important things to understand is that self efficacy is different from self esteem. Self esteem propagates the judgment of self worth like, "I am a good man or I am a terrible performer ". Self efficacy propagates the judgment of personal abilities or capabilities like "I can jump 2.8m or I can finish this project in 5 days". You can have a high self esteem and low self efficacy or vice-versa.

The need for self-efficacy was explored in the field of mainstream education as it is considered to be an intermediary in academic achievement (Rosenholtz & Rosenholtz, 1981).

The Role of Self-Efficacy

A study by Schwarzer & Reinhard (1995) has revealed that people who display a high sense of self-efficacy are normally more confident about taking on challenging tasks. Some of the basic things that you can relate to include the ability to identify goals, what you would want to accomplish, how you want to accomplish, things that you would want to achieve, and things that you would want to change. However, achieving goals or wanting a change is not as simple as it sounds. This is where self-efficacy plays an all important role in how you approach your goals, challenges, and tasks. Let’s look at both sides of the coin – people with strong and weak self efficacy based on their reactions.

A study conducted by Wehrwein and Eddy (1993) revealed that self-efficacy is an important predictor of health promoting behaviors. If you had a strong sense of self-efficacy then you would:

• Take challenging problems head on and look for the appropriate solution
• Slowly develop interest in various activities that you participate in
• Project and show a strong sense of commitment to your tasks, goals, activities, and interests
• Be able to recover quickly from disappointments and setbacks

If you had a weak sense of self-efficacy then you would:

• Avoid any conflict and shirk away any responsibilities built around challenging tasks
• Believe that you lack the capabilities to handle difficult tasks and challenging situations
• Spend more time focusing on failures and negative results
• Lose confidence in your abilities at the slightest hint of failure or challenge

Warm regards,

FreelanceCoach Team

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Positive attitude is one of the most important keys to personality development. What is positive attitude? Well, it is all about facing difficulties with a firm attitude, seeing the positive side of everything. When you don’t get the promotion you deserved in office and yet you don’t let that hamper your performance is positive attitude. When the doctor tells you that you have been diagnosed with cancer and you still don’t lose your will to fight in life, that’s positive attitude. It exists in many forms and it doesn’t only have a healthy impact in your life only; it also has a positive impact on the lives of people connected to you. According to a research by Duke University Medical Center, positive attitude or outlook contributes to better heart health.

Where does positive attitude come from? It comes from optimism. It can be encapsulated through the fact that it helps in keeping you motivated even in worse case scenarios. It is all in the mind. When you are attacked by hordes of problems and challenging situations, there are two paths to choose from. You can choose to surround your life with negativity, lose focus of your goals, be depressed and unhappy, feel bitter, and blame others. The other path is to stand strong and take on the challenges one by one saying to yourself, “It can be done – I can do it”. That’s the essence of positive attitude!

According to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, approximately 37 million people in the US live below the National poverty line. This means that 1 in every 8 people are living in poverty. Poverty is another breeder of negative attitude. According to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, unemployment rate in March 2012 in the U.S, was 8.2 percent. Unemployment is one of the largest breeders of negative attitude.

Positive Attitude Can Help in Personality Development

Positive attitude has a healthy affect on the various traits of personality development. Let’s look at the various attributes in co-relation with positive attitude:

Ethics: One of the most important traits of personality development is ethics. There can be good ethics and bad ethics. Ethics come into play in our personal and professional sphere. There are situations that can put us in a state of conflict and stressors can be quite overwhelming. At this point there will be a lack of balance or stability in life. Are you ready to make a false statement to save your job or stand with truth? The only way you can stand with truth is by maintaining a positive attitude and it will show as an integral part of your personality.

Confidence: You might come face to face with situations that can shake your very confidence. Confidence can enhance your personality and lack of it can stagnate personality development. Confidence is all about faith or belief. How much faith do you have in your capabilities to handle a situation or do use your strengths or to manage a relationship? The faith you have in your ability can dwindle when a storm hits you but positive attitude will ensure faith remains in place.

Warm regards,

FreelanceCoach Team

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Self confidence is like a boat that will take you closer to your goal. It is an attribute that lies within the realms of our mind and all we need is awaken it. Being human makes us fallible, we often become victims of pain, anxiety, and stress. These are the negative attributes that create doubt and we end up with an inferiority complex. It clouds our positive attributes like confidence and esteem. Lack of self confidence has been linked to drug dependency, violent behavior, and suicidal tendency. A survey by The World Health Organization (WHO) has revealed that suicide caused by depression leads to more deaths across the world than war. In fact, according to a WHO report, suicide rates across the world have increased by 60 percent in the last 45 years.

But then the question arises how to achieve self confidence.

Achieving Self Confidence

According to a report by Dr Joe Rubino, nearly 85% of the world's population is suffering from low self confidence. The first step toward achieving self confidence begins with belief. According to a report by Alexandra Delis-Abrams, Ph.D., almost 50 million Americans every year suffer from mental disorders, varying from eating disorders to depression. Depression is caused by low self confidence and 15% of depressed women in the USA have attempted suicide.

The question is how can you achieve self confidence and bring in a positive change? You need to start by changing the negative opinion you have of yourself. Your opinion about the self is based on the interpretations of the following:

• Your current job
• Your job responsibilities
• Your value as a person
• How you perceive others see you
• Your place in other people’s lives
• Your place in the world
• The purpose of your life
• Your strengths and weaknesses
• Your independence
• Your social status

All of the above help in forming an opinion. The more positive opinion you form, the more it will help boost your self confidence. There are two more important aspects that can help you in improving self confidence and they are:

Limitations: One of the important aspects is accepting our limitations. We all have strengths and weaknesses but accepting the weaknesses and working on it to transform ourselves is often a long journey. Most people try and avoid this journey because people believe that accepting weakness is accepting defeat. However, the truth is that only when you accept your weakness can you bring in positive change.

Short-term goals: One of the best ways to boost your self confidence is by giving yourself short-term goals and achieving them. The time target for your goals should not exceed a month and you can even search for weekly goals. Each time, you achieve a goal within the specified time span; it will help boost your confidence.

Warm regards,

FreelanceCoach Team

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