FreelanceCoach Blog

Although some people just seem to be born procrastinators, every single one of us is guilty at one time or another of putting things off until a later date.  Sadly though, it’s not just the unpleasant concerns that we keep moving down our to-do lists, but even the things which could genuinely bring us joy and happiness.  How many times, for example, have you heard people talk about how they will write that book, start that business or get serious with that diet “one day”, only for that day never to arrive?

In his best-selling book entitled The Road Less Travelled, psychiatrist M Scott Peck devotes one of his chapters to the subject of delaying gratification, which he describes as “a process of scheduling the pain and pleasure of life in such a way as to enhance the pleasure by meeting and experiencing the pain first and getting it over with.”  He then goes on to explain that although most people learn this process by the time they reach adolescence, for reasons unknown, some individuals barely develop the ability to delay gratification by the age of 15 or 16.  Despite the fact that these people may be of higher-than-average intelligence, their procrastination causes them to perform at less than optimal levels, not just during their school years, but in many cases throughout their entire lives.

Although in certain situations it can be quite easy to see why procrastination occurs, in others the reasons aren’t nearly so obvious.  Putting off opening a credit card statement or opening it but then delaying in calling the credit card company when you realize that you can’t afford to make the payment, for example, typically happens because of fear.  Even putting off the more difficult jobs at work and dealing with the easier ones first can come out of the fear of getting it wrong or not doing well enough.  In all of these examples though, the very act of delaying only stores up even greater problems for the future.

Even in the case of those activities which could potentially bring us joy and success, such as starting a business or writing a book, fear can often be an important factor which contributes to procrastination.  Surprisingly though, it is not just failure that people commonly fear, but success too.  In some cases, there is the feeling deep within the individual that he or she doesn’t deserve to succeed, whereas in others the fear has more to do with the consequences of success and how it might affect their lives and their relationships.  In failing to rise to the challenge, however, those who put off their dreams, sometimes indefinitely, deprive themselves of the opportunity to meet their full potential in life.

The development of skills and strategies to overcome procrastination is something that many of those who choose online coaching are keen to address.  Whether the problem manifests itself in a career sense, a health sense or across all areas of life, executive coaching, business coaching and leadership coaching, health coaching and life coaching respectively can help to equip those who are apt to procrastinate with the tools to move forward confidently and with determination.  With online coaching being such a convenient option, there isn’t even any need to procrastinate in signing up!

Anda Tudor, Life Coach                                                           August 17, 2011

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For many people, setting up their own business is a lifelong dream which is never realized.  For those who do make the giant leap from being an employee into self-employment, however, not only is the experience an extremely exciting one, but also one of the most daunting.  It is for this reason that many new entrepreneurs seek support and guidance via business coaching.

Even before a new business gets off the ground, there are a million and one different things to do and to consider, from setting up the business entity to arranging finance, identifying target markets, writing business and marketing plans and a whole lot more.  Both at this stage and once business activities are underway, entrepreneurs are called upon to use the widest range of skills imaginable, some of which may never even have been tested while they were in paid employment and which may not represent areas in which the individual is particularly strong or gifted.  Even knowing which of these to tackle personally and which to farm out to someone more experienced can be an enormous challenge for many new business owners, and this is one of the many important areas where the more seasoned entrepreneurs who provide business coaching services can offer invaluable advice, guidance and support.

Of course, it’s not just the sheer range of activities and responsibilities which can present concerns and issues for new entrepreneurs.  Switching from paid employment in an organization where other people ultimately carried the can to being in a situation where the buck stops with you can not only feel foreign and stressful, but extremely lonely.  In addition, knowing that your business lives or dies according to the time and effort that you put into it can mean that every semblance of a work/life balance is lost, even to the extent where health and personal relationships begin to suffer or fall apart completely.

Setting up and running a business involves embarking on an extremely steep learning curve which encompasses a multitude of different factors.  Sadly, the harsh reality is that many new entrepreneurs don’t survive the ride, and even if their businesses manage to keep going throughout the first year, the majority is destined to fail before they hit their 10-year anniversaries.  In fact, estimates put the failure rate at 25% before the end of Year 1, and 50% by the close of Year 5, with 70% of new ventures having crashed and burned after 10 years.  Although these figures might seem exceptionally high, especially bearing in mind the wealth of information which is available to new business owners today, both information overload and the generic nature of the advice which is provided in books, training courses and so on can often add to confusion and cause entrepreneurs to make fatal business errors.

For those who choose to take up business coaching, one of the key benefits is the ability to receive advice, guidance and support which is directly relevant to their own business ventures and their own unique sets of circumstances.  In addition, however, because the coaches themselves have set up and run successful businesses of their own, new entrepreneurs who avail themselves of business coaching services effectively have the opportunity to learn by somebody else’s mistakes and experience rather than through their own trial and error, which can shorten the learning curve tremendously.

Whether you are about to kick off your own new business or are looking to fine-tune your entrepreneurial skills in an established venture, business coaching could be your key to reaching your objectives more quickly and painlessly. 

Julia Ann                                             August 16, 2011                                                      

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We all are facing at a certain moment a change in our environment. Can be a happy situation, from getting married, promoted, moving to your first house, or difficult, like losing someone close, breaking up with your partner, changing the city due to your work duties and losing the contact with all your friends, all these can be very challenging and cause you trouble if you don’t manage the change.

I recently moved to a new apartment and I was excited for this, the apartment is bigger, brighter, close to a park, just like I wanted and still after the move I was stressed. There were many things to handle, to organize and it looked like the transition phase will take longer than expected. Where is this going to be over? When can I enjoy my apartment as I was imagining?

My old routine with going to the gym and doing other activities was all of the sudden changed. The main focus became the apartment entirely as I wanted to finish it as soon as possible but still I wasn’t happy. I realized that I had to change something. I analyzed the situation and these are the steps I took:

1. Establish realistically when the current transition can end.

Tip: In my case, one week was enough. For other cases, can be month. See what works for you and your situation and note this timeline. If in time you need to adjust the timeline as you see that the transition may end sooner, do so. In case of a happy event you want to keep the happy situation as long as possible. It is normal and very understandable to feel this way; the ending of the transition period in this case means only the smooth, complete inclusion of this happy event into your life.

2. Continue with my routine. How much time do you need for your routine activities like, going to the gym, playing sports, watching movies, etc?

Tip: Restarting your routine activities will bring you back your stability. Clarify how much time an activity can take and how many times per week you want to do them.

3. Make a plan for the week. Incorporate the things you “need” to do, like in my case to work on the apartment, and also the things/activities you want to do, like have fun, meeting your friends, attending specific events, etc.

Tip: Once you start making the plan for the week you will see that it is easy to expand it to the whole month. This will give you clarity and confidence that you are in control of the situation and joy knowing that you are things/activities that you like coming up.

4. What else can I do to keep myself happy and positive?

Tip: Discover what activities are important for your happiness. Is it going to a park, going out for a movie or meeting with your friends? Would you like to meet new people? Put everything on a piece of paper and take action. Establish how can you do all these, when is the best time to do it and put them on your weekly plan from point 3.

5. Check at the end of the week the progress made. See what you would like to improve. Congratulate yourself for the progress!

To Your Happiness!

Anda Tudor, Life Coach                                                                                              July 12, 2011                                                                         

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  Starting your own business can be an overwhelming process. There are many things to consider before doing that, to make sure you are on the good path and that your business is going to be successful. You want to invest money and time in something that will bring you financial success and personal satisfaction, right?

For this reason, is better to ask yourself a set of questions, to do a “survey” before starting, in order to see if you are ready for the new adventure. Make sure you are answering realistic to the questions, so you can objectively decide if having your own business if suitable for you.

To make your life easier, I built the questionnaire for you.

1. What service/product you want to provide? What are the vision and purpose of your business?

Tip: Be specific in defining the service/product you want to sell to your customers. Focus on the things you are best at. Create a vision for your business, how is going to serve you and your customers? How is your business going to look like in 5 years?

2. Who is your client?

Tip: Determine who your target client is. To whom do you want to sell your services/product? Describe on paper what the characteristics are for your typical client: age, income, why are they interested in your services/products, what need are they going to satisfy using your products.

3. What makes you unique?

Tip: There might be out there other businesses similar with yours and maybe you would like to take as much as possible from other business models. At the same time you have to think that you have to be different, unique. People will always search for better deals and they will compare similar products/services. If you are not offering them something they didn’t see somewhere else, unique, they will buy from somebody else.

4. How much money do you need to start, to operate each week? Are you able to sustain yourself until the clients are going to use constantly your service/product?

Tip: Get familiar with the financial part of a business. Analyze how much money you need to start the business, to operate weekly until the first client arrives, and what do you need to maintain the cash flow at a level that permits your business to grow.

5. Do you want to work by yourself or do you need to have employees?

Tip:  Consider all the operational aspects of your business. Are you going to have enough time to do all the paper works by yourself? See if it is something that you can outsource to other company or person, like accounting, answering the phone, etc. You will want to focus on the activities that bring the most money for your company.

6. How are you going to manage the relationship with your customers?

Tip: Create a strategy to keep your existing customers satisfied, loyal to your business. Show them that you value their opinion and choice. A happy client is likely to bring other clients to you.

At the same time you have to create a successful plan to bring new clients on board.

If, after taking this questionnaire you still want to build your own business, great! You are on the good track.

To Your Success!

Anda Tudor, Life Coach                                                                                  June 18^th, 2011

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 I have been asked many times by many people about how is Life Coaching different than Therapy or Counselling?

Well, each of them has their specific roles and advantages and takes care of different aspects of Your well-being. They do not exclude each other, they just serve different purposes. But let’s take them one by one.

Life Coaching is the improvement process that allows You to develop and improve as person, as much as You want. Coaching is an alliance between Your Coach and You, with You in the driver’s seat. Coaching helps You to discover the answers within Yourself, for each question You have and focuses on solutions, on Your future goals and on the Life You want to create.

Your Life Coach will be there for You to assist You to design the life You want, to encourage You to take the risks, whenever necessary and to celebrate with You your victories! You know You need a coach when:

-        You want to achieve balance in Your work, personal and family life

-        You want to start/improve your business

-        You want to tap into Your highest potential

-        You have goals and You want to achieve them while having fun and enjoying Your Life

-        You want to discover Your Life purpose

-        You want to improve Your relationships with the people in Your Life

-        You want to become a Leader in your career field

-        You want to change careers

Counselling is the expert advice provided by an expert in a specific field. It focuses on a current matter, by giving You a specific advice. Either You have a challenge in a relationship, You experienced a personal loss or You have an addiction, a counsellor can help you to cope with these and provide You solutions based on their training and experience.

Therapy is the process of increasing the mental health of a patient, working with issues like depression, anxiety, eating disorders, trauma, relationships conflicts or career frustration. It helps providing perspective to the events from the past, ways to express feelings and understand patterns of thinking through a series of specific, psychological techniques provided by a specialized professional.

Each of the 3 methods from above offers You support to improve Your Life based on Your current Life conditions.

To Your Success!

Anda Tudor, Life Coach                                                                                  June 12^th, 2011

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In one of the previous article I was giving few examples about how can you motivate yourself daily. How would you motivate yourself on a bigger scale, to have the Life You Want, the Life You Deserve?

The steps below helped me clarify my life purpose and established the direction I want to go. I trust they will be helpful for you too.

1. Be grateful every day for what you already have. Focus on what you have and you will end up having more then you have already than focusing on what you don’t have.

2. Decide what you want to accomplish in Your Life. How would you like to be remembered by the people around you? It has to be something that brings the passion out of you whenever you speak about it.

3. Write in a notebook the decision from the point 2.

4. Imagine that you would already have accomplished it. How would you feel? How would be the environment around you? Who do you have to be to have that? Describe these in your notebook.

5. Create an action plan with immediate actions that you will take, to get closer to your life goal. Have a clear, defined deadline for all your actions. In this way you can stay focused and check them out of the list once you accomplished them.

6. Read every day your Life Goal and the actions you already took. This will motivate you to move forward and find the next steps you need to take.

7. Spend every day, 5-10 minutes visualizing your goal accomplished.

To Your Success!

Anda Tudor, Life Coach                                                                                  June 5^th, 2011

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What’s great about being in a team? Have you ever wondered? What can you get if you are part of a team?

When you are in a good team, the energy is great!  You feel significant, you are part of a group, and you are appreciated. The team shares a great connection and stimulates each other to create better things. The team member connection often goes beyond the workplace and they became long time friends.

But what makes a team great and how can we create it?

The key of a good team is a good leader. Good leaders bring the team together, connect and motivate the members. Good leaders are part with the team and share the workload with them whenever necessary, listen to them when they lack motivation and coach them to gain the confidence back. Good leaders work with praises and use the negative results as lessons learned.

As Tony Robbins was saying in one of his registered classes, “success is the result of good decisions; good decisions are the results of experience and experience, is the result of bad decisions.” The real leader uses the bad experiences in positive experiences, in lessons that can be applied in the next situation and in this way you transform the bad outcome in a positive one.

Let’s summarize the qualities of a good leader:

- Has a clear vision of the team’s purpose and goals

- Integrity

- Leads by example

- Confidence

- Positive attitude

- Trustworthy

- Fairness

- Openness

- Good communicator

- Good motivator

- Has a sense of humor

Are these your qualities too?

Anda Tudor, Life Coach                                                                      June 1^st, 2011

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What is drawing people to each other? What connects them to one another?

Since the earliest times, the people came together to live in the caves and work together. By working together they learned and stimulated each other to improve their life and evolve.

Today, we are a modern society, with lots of excitement, things and places to see. The society changed, but we are still the same. We still like to get together in groups to share feelings, knowledge, ask for guidance and support whenever necessary.

We cannot leave by ourselves, or isolated like in the saying “No man is an island”.

But what makes people to come together?

The response is: Significance, to be recognized by others or be part of something.

For this reason we go and work together, we have friends, families and go out to watch a game together with other people. Is more fun to go to the gym and workout with others, you get stimulated to work better, and keep motivated to continue the pursuit of the body you want. 

For this reason there are many professional associations or groups for outdoors activities or cooking; people like to be among people with the same interests and hobbies. They want to feel connected and appreciated for what they are and know.

Anda Tudor, Life Coach                                                                                              May 30, 2011

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  Are you one of the persons that are not happy that they have to wake up in the morning? Or are you caught in the mundane rhythm of your life?

How can you motivate yourself daily?

Try these simple steps and you will see improvements in your daily life, fast.

1. Think about the good things that are waiting for you. If you cannot find something, make up something good you want to happen to you. The mind is an extraordinary magnet for the good things, if you believe.

2. Have a clear outcome of the day. Decide in the morning how you want your day to be, what you want to accomplish, how you would like to feel.

3. Put in writing a map of your day, the things you want to accomplish that day. In this way you will keep yourself focused and motivated. You will be happy crossing out the goals you’ve accomplished for that day.

4. Read your “map” during the day, if you feel outside of the track, so you can pull yourself back on the right road.

5. Do something you like every day. Can be something like seeing a new corner of your park, finding a new book in the store or meeting with your favorite people. Every day you have to reward yourself with a little “present”.

6. At the end of the day, review your accomplishments for that day and congratulate yourself for the good job! Tomorrow will be another great day!

Anda Tudor, Life Coach                                                                                  May 30, 2011

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  Recently, I came across a situation that made me think at how we handle ourselves when we are angry or when we are dealing with angry people.

What is anger?

Anger is an emotion, an exaggerated state of mind, created as response to feelings of unhappiness, caused by unpleasant circumstances. The unpleasant circumstances can be the result of a situation we dislike or the fact that we are prevented to fulfill our wishes. The more we are caught up in the unpleasant situation, the more the probability to become angry.

As the probability to be caught in unpleasant situations is high, from the missing the bus in the morning, to an argument with a colleague or your partner, we have to learn how to control our feelings of anger.

How can we handle anger?

1. Recognize the presence of anger and what caused it.

2. You need to want to change the state. Understand that anger will not serve you and you need to change the state.

You can do this by asking yourself questions like: How can I be happy now? What will make me happy at this time? What is funny about this situation that I didn’t see yet?

By asking these questions, your brain will start to search like an internet search engine the right answers. Maybe at the beginning you will not receive positive, happy answers, but you have to ask yourself these kinds of questions until you will receive a constructive, positive response that will make you to change your state.

3. Use your body to create a positive state. From psychology we know that “Emotions are the results of motion.” So, if you want to feel positive, happy, you need to express that through your body.

How do we recognize a happy person? First, by the smile; and second, by the posture of the body. So, if you want to feel happy, smile, even if at the beginning this might be difficult. And stand tall, you will look and feel more confident.

Anda Tudor, Life Coach 

May 26, 2011

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